EmOtIoNaL

I am feeling a lot of emotions. I don't know if it's because I'm stressed or because I'm engaged and getting married which is a big deal... I go through a cycle of emotions. I feel like I'm a bad teacher. I hope I'm not letting the kids down. I'm struggling with teaching the students in my class because they are so different from each other in many ways. I know I'm a first year teacher and this is probably to be expected, and I'm probably over reacting. I know I will get in a routine of things and become more systematic with certain things. Then, I begin to think of New York City and all my friends there. There are a handful of really good friends, like best friends, that I left there. I really miss them. Most of us are in various different places in our lives right now, and some of them even moved on to a different city or state as well. I think what gets me is they all graduated and then moved on... I left my junior year and came back to Ohio. I really miss them and want to try to keep in better touch with them, through either email, phone, or even visits. I try to get to NYC as often as possible and when I'm there I try to get together with all that are still there. I have one friend that is now in NC. She was my best friend and roommate all three years I lived there. We have lost touch and I am trying to get back in touch with her to go visit her. I want to catch up with her. I miss her. However, everytime I message her she never messages back. I'm not sure if she is just busy or ignoring me. I really hope we get in touch because I would love to go visit her. I also would like her (and the others) to be able to come in for the wedding if at all possible. It would mean a lot to me if they could be there. I know I'm rambling, I guess it just feels good to vent. I just want to get all these emotions I'm feeling off my chest so I can try to deal with them.

*On a good note... Todd & I met with a loan guy today about getting a loan for our house. He said our credit and everything was good. He ran the numbers and said that for the price range of houses we are looking, we will have no trouble getting a loan. He then ran some more numbers and told us a few scenarios of what our house payment would be, and it actually wasn't too bad! =)
That's exciting! We are looking at a house for the second time, and our parents may come with us. We are going to try to get serious in February/March so we can have time to make offers and close onthe house and fix it up a little. Me? Buy a house? Ahh, I'm used to living with the parents! LOL